If your doctor told you drinking wine everyday was healthy and you already drank wine everyday, would you suddenly stop?
Ponder that for a moment while taking in a little more info.
As you know, unless of course you are from a parallel universe that’s an hour behind, it’s 2009. Okay, keep that in mind. Stay with me now.
Not that I’m some sort of bum, hobo, slacker or the like but I haven’t had a Jay Oh Bee since the early 90′s. 
My first one was working at Dairy Queen in Colchester Vermont in the early 80′s. No idea if it’s still there or not. I even had a job title back then. LOSER. Oh yeah, that’s what they called me. Hey LOSER, do this. LOSER, do that!
Then and there began my aversion to formal job titles. Actually, I’m pretty darn sure there began my aversion to Jay Oh Bees all together. My last one, which ended in the early 90′s, was that of a school teacher. Then too was I adorned with a title suitable for my contributive role to society. Ahem…, TEACHER. Clearly, I’d made more than a lateral career move.
Since then (17 or so years), I’ve managed one way or another never to work FOR anyone again. My motto and credo was|is|and will be that of working WITH people. Call it what you want really. It’s a mindset. That’s essentially the sole and spirit of a Freelancer.
We’re that small % of the populous currently not really freaking out about the economy and all the jobs lost. That’s basically because we seldom have Jay Oh Bees to begin with. How many times have we heard coming up, “Why don’t you get a real job?” Man, if I had a real job for every time I’ve heard that comment, hell…I’d have health, life insurance AND a 401K (whatever the heck that is)!
Which leads me to the point of this post, dedicated to Patrick from Murphy Goode Winery who wants us Top 10 Candidates to create a new name for the position we’re after. It’s 2009, remember? And if it’s healthy to drink wine every day and you already do drink wine every day, why stop. Right? Well, this is the first time in almost 2 decades that I’ve wanted to work at a real company and the big irony is, it’s considered A REALLY GOODE JOB for x-mas sakes! Not only that, it’s a friggen title that I’ve already grown accustomed to and frankly been busting my ass to covet! And further more, when my mother says to me (and she will at some point) “Why don’t you get a real job?”, well we already know the appropriate response, RIGHT?!
Mom. Dear, dear Mother. I’M A FUKN WINE COUNTRY LIFESTYLE CORRESPONDENT!
See what I mean? It’s a great title. In fact, it’s awesome. Why in x-mas’ name Patrick, do you want to screw with perfection? Warum? Next to Pornstar and the President Of The United Emerates Of Where Ever They Come From, this is the only title I’ve wanted since I can remember. How could you deny me this? How? (said while fluttering my arms wildly)
Okay. I’m calm… I’m goode. No, really goode.
Thanks for reading. And thanks to Patrick for being a goode sport. And no worries, I’ll play ball. I’m a pro. 
Cheers!
Kamary Phillips, POTUEOWTCF
The first Google search result for Dairy Queen.
“It’s All Goode”- The Murphy Goode Song – www.AReallyGoodeSong.com
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